A few thoughts about pain
I have a migraine. It showed up yesterday morning and - unless my new meds work better than the old ones - will stick around for about another two days. That's 42 more hours, or 2,520 minutes, or 151,200 seconds ... approximately ... until I once again rejoin the human race.
Because the thing about pain is that it defines you for as long as it's around.
I am currently possessed by a malign spirit, manufactured by my own traitorous body, and it owns me just as long as it chooses to stay. Everything in my world now plays a distant, poor second to that spot in my skull: the one just behind my left eye, a little way up and toward the left temple. It is mesmerizing, this spot in my brain -- it is fascinating and terrible. It is the world. It is me. For now.
I have been reading a book of essays called Eccentric Islands by Bill Holm . In it he says we can be "islanded" by pain. He suggests pain can encircle us, isolate us, strip our other identities from us while it is here - when we hurt, really hurt, we are no longer mothers or sons or teachers or friends or anythings ... except pain.
Gotta say - it's a good metaphor. A VERY good metaphor.
Just wish I didn't know that for sure.
posted by ink @ 12:39 PM
Dip your quill - (5)
5 Comments:
Oooooooh---I know exactly what you mean... I had migraines for almost ten years on and off---never knew when one would strike. Mine was right behind my left temple too, and it was just terrible. It took many prescription experiments to find one that would eventually work. And yeah, the pain was isolating, to be sure. Then suddenly, at age 38, they just stopped. It took me almost a full year to realize I hadn't had one. And I haven't had one since---lord knows why. Maybe the same will happen to you!!!! Take care of yourself!
I hope your pain has ended by now. I've never had a migraine so I can't even imagine what your suffering is like.
Sister - Susan - Snooze (anyone else think that's a great name for a band?): Thanks so much for your sympathy. I am more-or-less back to myself today ... which is to say I do not (currently) want to stick the business end of a knitting needle in my ear and wiggle it around to see if I can dig out a few unwanted pieces of grey matter. Ahh - life is GOOD!
Hope your feeling better soon. I once experienced something that might be close to that when I gave up Caffine. After day 3 I vowed I'd never stop again.
I can relate as well in the many ways pain can manifest itself. I hope it ends or dulls. :)
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