The Strangling Vine
The strangling vine has trapped me once again. Like one of those mutant plants found in B-rated sci-fi movies or popular comics, thick living tendrils of stress are wrapping themselves around my arms and legs, twisting their way through my innards, and choking my breath. I'm bound and blind and suffocating and I can't see my way clear.
It's happened before, of course. It happens to almost everyone from time to time. Life sometimes conspires to overwhelm us - not with crises (I can deal with crises), but with the unrelenting, pounding demands of everyday life.
It will pass. I know it will pass. It always does. But until then, I need to deal with the world ... I need to get through the day ... and through the next day ... and the next day ... without becoming completely paralysed.
Rest assured I'm still managing. I'm still moving - and I have no intention of stopping - but dragging around the strangling vine is exhausting. Every breath, every decision saps what little energy I have. Each small step is a little victory, until it turns out I was going in the wrong direction. And then it's back to the beginning again.
I know I've created the monster, fed it and nurtured it and made it strong. Intellectually, I know it's a choice I'm making about how to be in the world. But it sure as hell doesn't feel that way.
Sometimes the strangling vine dies on its own. Sometimes I've been able to cut it down piece by piece. All I can say is that the tools I have at my disposal don't seem to be working very well this time.
So I'm asking for your help and advice. What do you do to to kill the strangling vine? What do you do when stress takes over your life? How do you get through the day?
posted by ink @ 7:59 AM
Dip your quill - (15)
15 Comments:
I don't know how I get through those periods. I always have to have a vacation or a block of time off to look forward to.
I do change jobs a lot though, maybe that's how.
Oh, man, I know what ya mean. I've been there too. Four years ago I was smothering and so stressed I was barely a person. I ended up leaving one of my jobs and thus experiencing more than four hours of sleep a night for the first time in ten years. Otherwise, I don't know what I could have done.
Tornwordo - A week or two "away from it all" would probably be the perfect remedy. Unfortunately, it's just not in the cards at the moment. :(
Sister - I can always rely on you for good advice.
Susan - I'm sure the fact I only manage 5-6 hours of sleep a night has something to do with the way I'm feeling. It's hard to hold on to perspective when you're chronically exhausted!
Percocet. I try to schedule medical or dental procedures when I feel the stress is overwhelming. Have you tried smoking the vine? I can't speak from experience, but I hear it works wonders. I'd recommend a 2nd opinion on that topic.
I curl up in a ball and cry. Very cathartic, but does nothing in terms of a long-term solution. Okay, so maybe that was useless advice. sorry.
i went on craigs list and found someone to clean my house every two weeks for $40 a shot. best $80/mo i ever spent.
so, it freed up one little tangle of the vine.
the other thing i do is go to the occassional movie, it's a good 2 hr escape and brain release.
Greg - I find your ideas strangely appealing ...
Snooze - I never underestimate the value of a good cry. It might not solve the problem, but the theraputic effect is wonderful.
Manja - Excellent advice. So, does that mean you'll come and clean my closets after all? I could go to the movies while you work .... :)
Go dancing. Get some friends together and have a totally reckless, stress-relieving weekend!
St. D - What are these strange words you speak ... friends? reckless? ... I wish to learn more ...
Do you have a near by farmers market? A great stress relief for me is to go to the market, buy a bag of cherries, mabye some flowers, a piece of nice cheese. Then I kick off my shoes and just lay in the grass. Most weekends, a string band is playing and I feel like my life is a thousand miles away.
I know you will find your answer....somewhere in the inkwell of course.
I find the more I struggle, the tighter the vine gets. Sometimes it helps to just give in to the pressures of it abit and just relax. Eventually its hold on you lessens.
Life is stressful and your mind plays games with you after awhile and you end up suffering from tunnel vision. Maybe you just need to do the bare minimum for a few days without stressing out about what needs to be tended to and what should be done. Then after you've regrouped, do something really great and fun for yourself.
Also, cleaning always seems to be a good thing for me. Maybe it's just me trying to metaphorically clean up all the clutter in my mind?
If all else fails, smoke the damn vine like Greg suggests.
How to get through the days? Baby steps and be gentle with yourself!
Mainja has a good idea, movies are a total release.
Standing - Good idea. As it happens we DO have a farmer's market about 10 min. away. Of course, the sting band is a one-man harmonica-guitar-singing "trio" with one of the worst amplifiers you've ever heard ... but the spirit's there.
EM - That's a nice, cold spash of wisdom. Just what I needed. Thanks.
CoffeeDog - You know, I've told other people exactly the same thing (in almost those words, too) plenty of times. Funny how it's so easy to forget them when they apply to you. Thanks for the timely reminder of "the basics."
Sorry I wasn't around to give support, but know that i too have been there and am sending you lots of well wishes and good vibes. Sister has a great idea: dance or laugh. It really does bring out some great endorphins. Or I could kill two birds by dancing and make you laugh. I am told that I dance like an alien or gumby...i don't know if that is a good thing. :)
Epi - Thanks for the good wishes - and the offer. I'm smiling already!
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