Bereft of life, [it] rests in peace

All good things must come to an end. Some sooner than later, it appears. I am sorry to report that my MP3 player, which Himself gave me last Christmas, has gone to that place where consumer electronics are eternally blessed. The creature was always a bit temperamental, it must be said, so I’m not entirely surprised that it’s finally decided to ignore any and all attempts to recharge its battery.

(For the record, we have tried: (i) charging it at three different computers for up to 24 hours at a time; (ii) pressing the recessed “reset” button with pins, paper clips and other small pointy things; (iii) begging, pleading and cursing – in that order; (iv) ignoring it so it gets lonely and starts to play nicely; (v) sneaking up on it and pressing the play button at unexpected moments in the hopes of surprising it into working; and, finally, (vi) shaking it violently and (vii) whacking it – gently! – a couple of times on the table. No luck. To quote from a famous British comedy skit which shall remain nameless, “Bereft of life, he rests in peace. If he weren’t nailed to a perch he’d be pushing up the daisies.”)

Of course, the problem might simply be that I can’t figure out how to make it work. This failure is not entirely my fault, since the instructions are … creative … to say the least. Take this brief extract from the instruction manual, for example: “’Low Battery’ is displayed after remaining quantity of the battery icon increasingly reduces and the battery must be charged. Charging starts while the USB & Charging figure flickers on the LCD screen if connecting the USB terminal of the PC after connecting the USB cable to the earphone terminal of the product. Bumping figure is displayed on the LCD screen if charging is completed.”

Hmmm. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to that last “if.”

Unfortunately, now that my MP3 player is “ex,” my morning workouts are now enlivened by the appalling techno-pop and drill-sergeant-meets-Katie-Couric voice from the High-Low aerobics class next to the weight room. I should perhaps mention that I am NOT a morning person.

So, to avoid further damage to my sensitive soul – or to Evil Bouncy Aerobics Lady in the next room – I need a new MP3 player … soon! As you can imagine, I’m not too keen to repeat my current experience, so I’d like to get your advice. What brand of player do you own (if own one you do)? How long have you had it? Are you happy with it? Are there things you don’t like about it? What are its best features? Its worst? How long does it play before the battery runs down? What would YOU look for if you were buying a new MP3 player?

I’m all ears … since I don’t have anything to plug into them any longer!