Rules to live by ... or not

I’ve been rummaging around in my sub-conscious quite a bit lately (yes, there’s a bigger story here, but not one I’m prepared to share with you right now), and am somewhat amazed at the things I’ve run across in the crowded, dusty attic of my mind. I’ve recently unearthed – underneath the patch of vinyl wallpaper I “accidentally” melted with a heat lamp, and behind a particulary painful memory of a junior high piano recital (brrrr!) – some of the fundamental “rules" I learned (maybe too well, sometimes!) when I was a rugrat.

I don’t necessarily endorse these rules – in fact, some of them I’ve found to be positively destructive in my own life (for instance, I was 20 years old before I tried Kraft Dinner, and I am, apparently, a wanna-be perfectionist). Others, however, I think are pretty useful guidance for this weird and wonderful thing we call life.

So, both good and bad, fundamental and trivial, I present you with the first installment of The Rules I Live By … whether I want to or not:

1. Work first. Play later.
2. Take care of others before you take care of yourself.
3. The only person you need to measure up to is yourself – so always do your best.
4. You don’t have to be like everybody else.
5. Always keep the house tidy and the cookie jar full. You never know when someone will drop by.
6. Make the most of your natural gifts and talents – whatever they may be.
7. A woman should always have money of her own (i.e. money nobody else can touch).
8. You are stronger, more logical, and more practical than most of the men in your life, so you need to make allowances for them.
9. Homemade macaroni and cheese is better and cheaper than Kraft Dinner.
10. Going outside without underwear on is NOT ACCEPTABLE – especially when you are wearing a skirt.
11. Play by the rules. And if you don't, at least don't lie when you get caught. It only makes things worse. Much worse.
12. There are few things in life that cannot be made better by a nice hot cup of tea, a hug and some freshly baked scones.